Dear Dr Pene: My sister prefers to talk about celebrities rather than our lives
Question |
Dear Dr Pene,
My sister is totally obsessed with all the latest celebrity news, gossip and photos. She buys all the celeb magazines and constantly gossips about them as if she actually knows them.
She is obsessed with the Kardashians and the Royal family - which would be fine but it’s actually like she prefers to talk about them rather than the real stuff happening in our lives. It’s driving me crazy. Does she have a problem or am I overreacting?
Dr Pene |
It’s pretty safe to say that all of us, at one point or another have had an interest in the personal lives of people whom we’ve never met. But why is this? What is it about celebrities that fascinate us? There are many, many reasons and they are surprisingly complex. Whether it’s to alleviate boredom, a way of searching for identity or simply a fascination with people who have characteristics that we admire or aspire to, it’s hard to tell. Sharing our interest in celebrities can also be a form of social bonding and it can make us feel more connected to others.
Think about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. Their behaviour has divided the opinions and captured the attention of many. Should he, or would he, ever return to the Royal family? Is it really what he wants? Was the Oprah interview helpful or unhelpful? In this way, celebrities are people that we “know” in common, and their dramas provide us with opportunities to share our own preferences, and discuss our opinions, ideals, likes, and dislikes. And we can do all of this from the safe distance of our living room couch with the knowledge that our opinions are highly unlikely to get back to the famous person in question.
But what happens if our interest turns from something that is harmless and fun into an unhealthy obsession? Celebrity Worship Syndrome is used to describe an unhealthy or excessive obsession with someone of celebrity status. In 2003, psychologists Lynn Mc Cutcheon and James Horan discovered that low levels of interest in celebrities can actually be healthy for us, but high levels are not.
Basically, our interest in celebrities is like most things in life, and occurs along a continuum. If we direct too much of our energy and attention to the life of celebrities it can be highly disruptive to our own lives, and it may impact on our wellbeing. In particular, if our interest begins to interfere with our everyday routines, our friendships, our usual social activities or our relationships with others, it’s clear that it has become a problem.
From what you are describing, your sister appears to be directing a lot of her energy into the fantasy world of celebrities, even at the expense of her real relationships. If you feel that your sister has crossed the line and is too obsessive, it’s good to openly discuss your concerns with her in a non-judgmental way. Extreme obsessions with celebrities can be a warning sign to indicate that there may be other underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Extreme celebrity obsession may be associated with people lacking meaningful connection in their own lives. In your sister’s case, you may like to let her know, that you would like to have more meaningful conversations with her. Be honest with her about your feelings. There are many conversation cards which can be found online with prompt questions to help steer the conversation. Using conversation cards like this can be a fun and less intimidating way to connect with people at a deeper level.
Some things you might like to think about…
Celebrity worship becomes a problem when people begin to feel like their thoughts are all consumed by their favorite idol. Even when they don’t want to be thinking about them they pop into their minds They can become more and more captivated by the celebrity until their emotional responses and feelings are similar to people with addictions
In extreme cases of celebrity worship syndrome people may feel like they have a special connection or bond with the celebrity and they find it difficult to separate fact from fantasy. If you observe these symptoms it is important that the person suffering get the right support through specialised mental health services.
Develop and support meaningful connection with family, friends and people in the community. The more a person feels a sense of belonging and connection to people within the real world, the more protected they are against the addictive nature of celebrity worship.
Dear Dr Pene is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical or psychological advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, psychologist, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or psychological condition.